Wednesday, March 26, 2014

How Was Nepal?

From March 10, 2014

How was Nepal?
And how were the last eight months of your life?

I don’t mean to be rude, but if you ask me this question I probably won’t answer. It’s just too hard. It’s too much information, too much complexity, too much everything to consistently and repeatedly verbalize. Plus it’s not all the happy, rosy, wonderfulness that is expected in those two second conversations as you pass someone in the parking lot.

But I understand that the question comes from a genuine place and today, sitting back at home after my last day of school, I’m in the mood to try and speak the past eight months of my life.


How was Nepal? Nepal was this…


Nepal was disorganized and lopsided.
Nepal was vibrant and fragrant and beautiful.
Nepal was handpicked for me by a group of children whose faces in my eyes are chased by tears because today I said goodbye and I don’t know if I’ll see them again.
Nepal was precious and delicate. Probably not how I would have designed it, but infinitely more meaningful because of that.
Nepal was a lot of weeds.
Nepal was overwhelming and too much to take in all at once. But I desperately want my memories to maintain their truth, even as the experience itself wilts and this season closes.
Nepal was Dipika, Sunita, Sajan, Asmita, Karan, Postraj, Bijay, Niran, Sarmila, Parbati, Dipa, Numa, Sunder, Roshni, Sapana, Sabina, Sangita, Rashmee, Sumanta, Namrata, Arjun, Suraj, Dipesh, Saswot, Hira, Shila, Sushma, Laxmi, Bimala, Dipraj, and Pawan.
Nepal was singing with class one, doing puzzles with class two, learning to whisper in class three, practicing the months of the year rapid-fire with class four, and wishing class five would stop yelling.

Nepal was walking to school and covering my face with a scarf
when a truck left me inside a tunnel of thick, cancerous, smoke.
 
Nepal was being caught by surprise when the mountain peaks were suddenly whiter and brighter after new snow.
Nepal was milk tea.
 
Nepal was me giving handshakes and high-fives and hugs at the gate. Nepal was my students going round and round in the line instead of leaving after the first goodbye. Nepal was me not even caring and perhaps even wishing they would never stop.
Nepal was biting my tongue and smiling through a salty, facial monsoon while my students told me not to cry or be so “sadly.” Nepal was me not even being able to correct their English, but only standing there sniffling.
 
Nepal was me walking home with the most beautiful bouquet of flowers
I will ever receive and realizing I have to come back.


2 comments:

  1. Beautiful! Rachel as I look back over your international and national experiences it seems to me you have come to understand the following verse of scripture in a new way. Philippians 4:11-13 says

    11 I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. 12 I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. 13 I can do all this through him who gives me strength.
    Thanks for sharing your thoughts so honestly with us all! Looking forward to seeing and hugging you soon.
    love, Mom

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  2. Lovely, lovely post lovely girl.

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